MORTONSLIST.COM
VOL. 1, NO. 3




Messages from the Center of the Inner Circle    
January
2007
In This Issue:


What is the
Inner Circle?


The Inner Circle is the collective bodies and consciousness of all who have experienced random reality as presented in the game Morton's List: The End to Boredom.
It serves the cause of the random reality revolution by connecting players
and encouraging the uninitiated to let chance into their lives. Currently, there are estimated to be over 50,000 active members of the Inner Circle, worldwide.





Morton's List
on the Web


MortonsList.com

MySpace/mortons_list

Wikipedia

Everything2

The RPG Site

Faygo Luvers

Juggalo News

MeetUp:
Global Inner Circles

Email:
MortonsWeb@gmail.com





Happy New Year - Mayan Style!


January 1st is old news. It's all about January 10th (well this year at least) - the Mayan New Year! Or as the Mayans would write it: 12.19.13.17.8 - 3. Lamat - 1. Pop
.
The Mayan civil calendar, or Haab', is 360 (!) days, divided into 18 months of 20 days, plus a five-day month at the end, called Wayeb' "Nameless Days" (our January 5th - 9th, 2007). This is a dark and unlucky time when the barrier between the world and underworld disappear, unleashing spirits of foul Karma. It is literally the darkest time of the year, something much more noticeable to those of us further north of the equator than the Mayans. As for unlucky, just think about what happened to you during the last week, the 5th - 9th. We at Center are always well prepared for the bones this time brings, while at the same time looking forward to the benefits of a new year full of fresh Karma.
Look for more information about the Mayan calendar in upcoming issues of The Radius, where we will discuss it's Karmic value and special importance to Morton's List, Center and the Inner Circle, and the REAL scoop on December 21st, 2012!





NEW MERCH!
Title Icon Patch: Initiate


Taking advantage of the Merchandise Licensing program, Inner Circle Member, Mutant XIII of Maryville, TN received authorization to use Dark Carnival Games trademarks in the production of Initiate Patches! These high quality patches feature black embroidery on a white base, with thermal application backing. They are available for $5 from Mutant XIII and the Morton's List web store. Look for more Title patched produced by Mutant XIII soon!
If you are inspired by this example of business mixed with pleasure and wish to become a Merchandise Licenser, contact Center for an application. While you're at it, request an Authorized Morton's List Dealer application, too. The AMLD program allows you to buy Morton's List box sets at below wholesale pricing to sell in your area for profit.




Web Site Redesign & Mystery Quests

2007 will also see a total web site overhaul, merging the best of the past and present with all new future-focused content and functionality. Look for big announcements around The Karmic Gathering: Within.
The redesign will devote a section to Mystery Quests, and we are actively accepting submissions for Inner Circle written Quests. Bubz the Troll has already submitted a superb Mystery Quest entitled The Black Chamber, which will be revealed at the launch of the new site. Here's a clue: ABVPO LLZAG EOLER RQVFZ DKIGA QEGRZ....





What's your flavor of choice...
...when you're NOT playing Morton's List?

Psychopathic artists
Sex, drugs & tech 'n' o
My LIFE is a Quest
Slack
Trying to score sex and/or drugs
Gaming in the fantasy world
Anime/Manga - I'm on the Japanese jock
School, work, schoolwork, or schooling work
New Age stuff like dolphin sex and crystal drugs
I'm a productive member of society
Music is my life
I like to do drawrings
The shit I'm into is WAY weird, man!




Submit
to The Radius!


Do you have a story, announcement, rant, editorial, photo, comment, poem, or report to contribute to this newsletter?
Email submissions to the Editor, Twilight Lord Nathaninja. Articles and stories should be 200 to 1000 words - shoot for 500.


February 2007 Issue
DEADLINE: Thursday, February 1st


Note: Submissions will be accepted based on quality and space/timing considerations. Submissions received by the first of the month will be considered for next month's issue. Submissions may be edited.





Subscribe
to The Radius!


To subscribe, send us the emails of all interested persons.

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Contributors


Thank you to the following individuals and organizations who contributed to this issue of The Radius:
  • The Ancient and Mysterious Crystal Skull
  • Empryme
  • Mutant XIII
  • Roly-Poly Pope
  • Big Cheddar
  • RamGoG
  • Razor Ray of Motown Rage

  • Mutant XIII
  • Rev. Sid with The Juggalo Care Package Program
  • The Astonishing OddBall
  • Sydeshow
  • Remix




Previous Issues

Volume 1



Next Issue
  • 2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance Updates / Additions
  • Too Shy to Try?
  • Stories of the Inner Circle
  • Your contributions


Welcome to The Radius

Welcome, Ninjas of the Inner Circle,

To not only another installment of The Radius, but the opening weeks of the year 2007. January is a month of new possibilities, new Karma, and the start of what may very well be the most in-effect year of Morton's List to have ever before happened. Karmic Gatherings? You know we got 'em coming. Conventions? In spades like it ain't no thang. Muhfuggin' Burning Man? Morton's List will be all up on the playa like sunburned titties glowing in the hot Nevada sun.

And The Radius is here with all the carbs on each of these events, with even more emerging over the following months.

But before we get down to it, there is a special announcement that the Twilight Lords received from The Ancient and Mysterious Crystal Skull while seeking occult guidance and receiving messages from the future. Much of what the skull discloses can never be revealed, but we would like to share one particular message, and we hope that you find the Skull's insight useful as you face life's many challenges.

The Skull Speaks!

Contemplate these words as you enjoy this issue of� The Radius.



2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance

We at Center are kicking off 2007 like never before! 2006 was the Year of the Phoenix, the renaissance of Morton's List. Now is a time unprecedented. The stars are finally in alignment to bring to fruition that which has slumbered behind closed doors. Plans long held may now be set into motion. The time is right for the 2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance!

You may have noticed that everything to do with Morton's List is 100% participatory and experiential. Morton's List is NOT a spectator sport. Unlike traditional tours for concerts, seminars, or even movies, the Tour de Chance is all about doing.

Some of the most important Tour stops are covered below, but more are yet to be added by Center, and the Inner Circle. Yes, YOU can submit your own Morton's List event for inclusion in the Tour de Chance! Here's how it works.

There are four Classes of Morton's List events:

  • KARMIC GATHERING - the pinnacle of all Morton's List events, and specially designated by the Karmic Order of Twilight Lords
  • OFFICIAL - put on by Center and/or featuring an appearance by one or more Twilight Lords
  • SANCTIONED - put on by an Inner Circle or individual member, not involving a Twilight Lord, but promoted by Center
  • RANDOM - put on by an Inner Circle or individual member, not involving a Twilight Lord, and not promoted by Center
Additionally there are two main Types of events:
  • TOURNAMENT - officially recognized by Center as complying with Morton's List tournament play rules and involving official prizes
  • CHAOTIC - not officially recognized by Center as complying with Morton's List tournament play rules and not involving official prizes

No one variety of event is superior to another. In fact "Random Chaotic" events are and should be the most common type! They are the most fundamental, and in line with the oldest Morton's List traditions. Some events are better as Official Tournaments, others as simple get-togethers to play some list.

To submit your event for inclusion in the 2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance it must become Sanctioned and may be either Tournament or Chaotic. Send all ideas and submissions to MortonsWeb@gmail.com.

All Official Tour de Chance events will be listed on MortonsList.com, with all the latest updates and info. And of course you can contact Center at the email above with ANY questions about any event.

Want to be apart of the action, but not ready to host your own event? Volunteer at an event. We need several volunteers for every event, so come out and have a great time as a Center representative. Volunteering usually involves playing Morton's List, helping to run demos, promoting, spreading the word, etc. and even comes with random benefits and perks, depending on the event. Take a look at places and dates, and email us to volunteer at all the events you can. We'll be looking forward to Listing with YOU!

Without further ado, let's get to the many events currently on the Tour!


Marmalade Dog 12

First, but not least, Marmalade Dog is an annual gaming convention held by the Western Michigan Gamers Guild (WMGG). It features role-playing games, collectible card games, board games, miniature war games and a variety of other events. Twilight Lord Nathaninja will be coordinating 13 free specially themed Morton's List events throughout the entire weekend, including one big special nighttime event!

CONTACTS
www.MarmaladeDog.org
www.MySpace.com/MarmaladeDog

VENUE
East Ballroom
of
The Bernhard Center
1903 W Michigan Ave, Kalamazoo, Michigan

DATES
Friday, Saturday & Sunday, March 16 - 18, 2007

TIMES
Friday
2:30 - Doors open, registration begins
3:00 - Slot 1 (2 Quests)
7:00 - Break
7:30 - Slot 2 (2 Quests)
11:30 - Doors close

Saturday
9:30 - Doors open, registration begins
10:00 - Slot 3 (2 Quests)
2:00 - Break
2:30 - Slot 4 (2 Quests)
6:30 - Break
7:00 - Slot 5 (Big event)
11:00 - Doors close

Sunday
9:00 - Doors open, registration begins
12:00 - Slot 6 (2 Quests)
4:00 - Break
4:30 - Slot 7 (2 Quests)
8:30 - Doors close

COST
All three days: $20.00
Fri. & Sat. only: $15.00
Sat. & Sun. only: $15.00
Fri. only: $7.00
Sat. only: $10.00
Sun. only: $7.00
There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!


The Karmic Gathering: Within

Of the tens of thousands of Inner Circle members existing on Earth this past October, only a tiny percentage experienced the flavor, the camaraderie, the Karmic high, that was the epic first ever Karmic Gathering: OctoberList. That is exactly as it should have been, and nothing could have been added to perfect that perfect night.

The long-awaited seed has now been planted, the foundation laid. Karmic Gatherings, the capstone of the pyramid of all Morton's List events, are now being planned on a regular basis. What exactly, you may ask, makes a Morton's List event a Karmic Gathering?

A Karmic Gathering occurs when the Karmic Order of Twilight Lords designates a certain space or plot of land to symbolically become "the Center" for the duration of the event. "The Center" refers to the Morton's List organization, its headquarters in Detroit and New York City, and more mystically the Center of the Morton's List universe, the Center of the Inner Circle, your very own center of being, your Morton Nature/Consciousness. This ground, once hallowed, may be used for the Quests, activities and rituals of the Twilight Lords and Inner Circle.

The Karmic Gathering: OctoberList was entirely organized by Center, with much welcome assistance from many die hard Inner Circle members. All future Karmic Gatherings, starting with Within, will hosted by Inner Circles local to the event, working closely with Center.

Now for the bomb we've all been waiting to drop. The announcement of The Karmic Gathering: Within venue, dates, times, and ticketing information!

CONTACTS
The Karmic Gathering: Within Tickets
www.MySpace.com/Mortons_List
- all information and updates will be posted here as it becomes available. You do not need a MySpace account to view and use this page, but if you do, make sure to Friend us to receive instant bulletins about important updates.
www.MortonsList.com - pay close attention to the Forum for ride/room share and general Karmic Gathering discussion topics. Start making connections and friends now.
MortonsWeb@gmail.com
- For all Karmic Gathering questions
phatass943@yahoo.com
- Mutant XIII, spokesperson for the local host Inner Circle

VENUE & OFFICIAL HOTEL
MainStay Suites (two miles from Knoxville 's McGhee Tyson airport, TYS)
361 Fountain View Circle, Alcoa, TN 37701 US
Phone: 877-424-6423 (toll free) / 865-379-7799
Fax: 865-379-0034


DATES
Friday, April 13th & Saturday, April 14th

TIMES
Noon to Midnight each day

COST
TICKETS - AVAILABLE NOW!:
Friday & Saturday - $50 ($63 at the door)
Friday OR Saturday ONLY - $30 ($43 at the door)

ACCOMODATION (MainStay Suites):
(IMPORTANT!: Ask for "The Karmic Gathering Gaming Convention" by name to receive the special Inner Circle discount - all prices before tax)
Standard Studio Queen Suite with Recliner or Sleeper Sofa -$69.95 (regularly $99.95)
1-Bedroom Suite with Sleeper Sofa - OR - Suite with 2 Double Beds and Sleeper Sofa - $74.95 (regularly $109.95
)


SPECIAL
This is an 18 and over event
. We regret that due to adult content and local "Buckle of the Bible Belt" law enforcement, no one under 18 will be admitted, and proper photo ID must be presented to enter.

Mutant XIII is an acting extension of Center for the purposes of The Karmic Gathering: Within and is looking forward to helping put on the largest, freshest, and most highly anticipated Morton's List event in history. If you haven't been fortunate enough to meet this die hard and ultra cool ninja, we caught up with him for this interview:

Q: We at Center pride ourselves on having the world’s most advanced Karmadar antenna. We’ve been tracking a bright blip in the Knoxville area for several years now. But for those in the Global Inner Circle who haven’t heard about you, your crew, and what you’re doing, make your introduction.

A: My name is Brad Luttrell. I'm a 360º Morton's List Master. I've been a member of the Inner Circle for over five years. The Inner Circle I List with in Knoxville is the Twilight Circle. Our (hard) core members are myself, Batz and Hoy. We picked the name Twilight Circle to show our respect for the Twilight Scroll and the Twilight Lords. It's our way of paying homage.

Q: Without a doubt, running a named Inner Circle that meets regularly is playing Morton’s List at a very high level. But what made you want to take to a whole other level, by hosting The Karmic Gathering: Within? How does it feel to be the first Inner Circle to host a Karmic Gathering?

A: A year before the first Karmic Gathering [OctoberList] I wanted to hold an event for hardcore Listers. I wanted to invite people from across the US to come to Knoxville and have a solid weekend where we all played Morton's List and got to know each other and related the experiences we had playing Morton's List. Little did I know we would get to host the second of the most devastating Morton's List events here in Knoxville, TN. I’m still soaring on a Karmic high, but I'm also a bit nervous. I want it to be just as awe inspiring as OctoberList.

Q: What's been the most challenging so far? What about the biggest Karmic boost or surprise?

A: So far finding the right venue was challenging. It had to be some place nice. I'm inviting my family over in a way, and I want everything to go smoothly. Plus you have to go in disguise when you talk to these people [at] the venues. I don't want them to pass any judgment on us before we even arrive. I get a major Karmic Boost every time I see an email from Nathaninja or other ninjas who are hella hyped about coming to Knoxville, TN. That puts me on level 13 totally.

Q: For people who've never been to the greater Knoxville area, what is your local flavor? How's the weather like in mid-April?

A: We have beautiful mountains. Even in the winter when everything is dead they are still magnificent. Whenever one arrives in spring you will be in for a pleasant surprise. As for mid-April weather it should be wonderful; just bring a light jacket and lots of
film for your camera.


Q: How about a sneak peak at some flavor your planning for Within?

A: It will be a two day event. A lot more time for everyone to get to know each other and hang out. I'm personally working on some late night flavor. You will want to bring your ninja uniforms and stealth gear. I’m going to keep it hush hush for the time being.

Q: Any final words?

A:
I hope all Inner Circle members can attend. We intend to peel some wigs waaaaaaaay the fuck back.

Thanks, Brad. It bears mentioning again that the Twilight Circle, as a team, is hosting The Karmic Gathering: Within. Mutant XIII as their highest ranking member, is their elected acting spokesperson who for the sake of simplicity will be handling the lion's share of interaction with Center and the Inner Circle at large. Batz and Hoy will be working just as hard behind the scenes, and are just as deserving of props. Make sure to meet and give a hearty Inner Circle elbow lock to each of these super ninjas at Within!


Penguicon 5.0

It's unfair for any event to have to follow so close on the heels of a Karmic Gathering. But if any con can thrive in the shadows of such a giant, Penguicon can! Why? Because this is no ordinary gaming convention. WEIRD shit goes down at Penguicon - stuff you haven't heard about. High level computer geek tactics, FILK fests, Shoggoths on the Roof, Chocolate and Coffee Rituals, sushi-making, liquid nitrogen ice cream, anime, and drum circles, oh my! Morton's List fits RIGHT in with all this random chaotic wildness.

CONTACTS
www.Penguicon.org

VENUE & OFFICIAL HOTEL
Troy Hilton

5500 Crooks Rd, Troy, MI 48098
Tel: 248-879-2100
Fax: 248-879-6054
Hotel Map

DATES
Friday, Saturday & Sunday, April 20 - 22, 2007

TIMES
Friday, 10am to Sunday 4pm, with nearly 24-hour programming!

COST
Pre-registration (until Saturday, March 31st) for all days:
Regular (18 or older) - $ 35
Youth (13 - 17 years old) - $ 20

At the door:
Regular (18 or older) - $45
for all days OR $25 (Fri) / $30 (Sat) / $25 (Sun)
Youth (13 - 17 years old) - $30
for all days OR $15 (Fri) / $20 (Sat) / $15 (Sun)
There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!

SPECIAL
UNLIMITED FREE BEER FOR ALL ATTENDEES OF AGE! We told you. You didn't want to listen, but we told you Penguicon was not to be fucked with!


Origins International Games Expo 2007

Origins may not be the country's largest gaming convention (although at over 10,000 ninjas it's close!), but for Inner Circle members it very well may be the most Karmically charged. Morton's List has a long history with Origins, and many many infamous Quests have gone down in its halls. We at Center always have the times of our lives there, our Karma being boosted in no small part by local Inner Circle member, Loyal Henchman of the Twilight Lords. His Karma is as high as his Ninja Name is long! With this hard core Lister in your circle you are guaranteed to have a peak experience!

That's not even to mention the extreme hypeness of Origins itself! The events list is far too massive even to summarize here. Just imagine ANY type of game, however unusual or funk - like Prego,it's in there. And they love Morton's List (which is saying a lot for a huge mainstream convention) so you know they've got it all. Other special events include seminars, contests, tournaments, and the Center employee favorite, The Smithees - the annual B-movie award ceremony!

CONTACTS
www.OriginsGames.org

VENUE
Greater Columbus Convention Center
400 North High Street, Columbus, Ohio 43215
Tel: 614-827-2500 / 800-626-0241

DATES
Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday, July 5 - 8, 2007

TIMES
Thursday, Friday, Saturday:
Attendee Registration 7:00am - 10:00pm
Gift Shop 9:30am - 6:30pm
Scheduled Events 8:00am - 4:00am
Exhibit Hall open 10:00am - 6:00pm
Art Show 11:00am - 7:00pm*
*Art show open until 8pm Saturday

Friday only:
Origins Awards Entertainment 6:00pm - 7:00pm
Origins Awards Ceremony 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Origins Award Party 8:30pm - 10:00pm

Saturday only:
Guest of Honor Banquet 6:30pm - 8:30pm

Sunday:
Attendee Registration 7:00am - 4:00pm
Gift Shop 7:00am - 4:00pm
Scheduled Events 8:00am - 6:00pm
Exhibit Hall open 10:00am - 4:00pm
Art Show 11:00am - 5:00pm
Convention Closes 8:00pm

COST*
Early Bird Pre-registration (until January 31st):
$50 for all days OR $25 (Thu) / $25 (Fri) /
$25 (Sat) / $20 (Sun)

More after January and more at the door

*There is NO FEE to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!



The Gathering of the Juggalos 2007


Ever since its premier at the Gathering of the Juggalos 2001 on Friday, July 13th, Morton's List has had a special connection with this amazing event. We've been there from the start, moving from convention center to campground. The from the decked out DCG booth and creation of "Trash Boy" at the 91-ninja Quest of 2002 to the infamous outdoor Morton's List midnight events of recent years, the Karma keeps getting stronger and larger. It has all brought us to this point, 2007, which will see the first ever...

Morton's List Camp!

That's right, this year's Gathering will feature a camp by of and for Inner Circle members, covered in Karma and devoid of drama, where friends can chill and strangers can become friends, and all are invited to learn about and enjoy Morton's List. There will be programming throughout the day and the epic midnight events will be held here each night. Ultimate Karma is at hand! Here's your chance to be apart of the camp. We at Center are beginning to coordinate with all Inner Circle members planning on attending The Gathering of the Juggalos to pool resources and tactics to create the best camp possible. Email us to join up!

Special note to all non-Juggalo Inner Circle members: The Gathering of the Juggalos is a uniquely spectacular event featuring liveness beyond the scope of any music festival
you may be familiar with. You do not need to be down with the music of Psychopathic Records to have your wig flipped and dipped by the spectacles you will witness there (though your enjoyment will reach critical levels if you are Down with the Clown). If for nothing else, come for the Morton's List. You will leave a changed person.

Because The Gathering of the Juggalos 2007 has not been officially announced by Psychopathic Records, all details are to be determined. Just know that for a long as there are Gatherings of the Juggalos Morton's List will be there.

CONTACTS
www.JuggaloGathering.com

VENUE
TBD - Michigan...?

DATES
TBD - Usually the 2nd-3d weekend of July, Thursday through Sunday

TIMES
TBD - Usually near 24-hour programming

COST
TBD - Camp sites are usually available for an additional fee

There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!



GenCon 2007

That's right! 2007 will witness the epic return of Morton's List to the very convention that banned The End to Boredom in 2001! Do not pass on this historic event and the chance to witness the country's largest gaming convention. There's something for everyone, as GenCon goes far beyond games. Hotel parties, 24/7 anime rooms, tricked out costumes, concerts - GenCon is simply put massively fun!

CONTACTS
www.GenCon.com/2007/indy

CustomerService@gencon.com

VENUE
Indiana Convention Center, 100 South Capitol Ave, Indianapolis, Indiana 46225
Tel: 317-262-3400

DATES
Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday, August 16 - 19, 2007

TIMES
Near 24-hour programming and events

COST
Pre-registration (Sunday, February 11th, 3pm EST to Monday, July 9, 2007 3pm):
4-Day badge: $65
1-Day badge: $35

Onsite:
4-Day badge: $75
1-Day badge: $45

There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!



Burning Man2007

Morton's List has a long history with Burning Man, dating back at least to 1999. Twilight Lord R. Jesse was the first make the pilgrimage. Twilight Lord Nathaninja, upon hearing the tales of Karma never before imagined, made the journey in 2000 with a completed Morton's List manuscript to sacrifice in fire to the Man. He returned in 2002 with his first completed Morton's List box set to complete the sacrificial circle, and again in 2004. Yet it is not until now, 2007, that the time is right for the Morton's List Random Reality Theme Camp! This year the desert will be lit by the light of Karma as the Twilight Lords found a new theme camp and bring the teachings of Morton's List to the highest level ninjas in the world at the planet's premier cultural experiment.

In light of this most unprecedented development, The Karmic Order of Twilight Lords has issued a special challenge to all Inner Circle members:

If you have been waiting for your life to... CHANGE,
If you are looking for something... MORE,
If you are ready to... EVOLVE,
Your time has arrived.
Come to the desert and together we will build a future beyond all limits.
Only you can stop your destiny from unfolding according to the Karmic plan.


Center will act as your Burning Man / Morton's List Random Reality Theme Camp HQ - email us to join!

CONTACTS
www.BurningMan.com

Burning Man Tickets
Burning Man Online Community

VENUE
Black Rock City (on the "playa"
in the Black Rock Desert several hours north of Reno, NV)

DATES
Monday, August 27 - Monday, September 3, 2007

TIMES
Non-stop.

COST
First 10,000 tickets: $195 (on sale Wednesday, January 17th, 7am EST, online only, limit 2/person)
Second 10,000 tickets: $225 (online only, limit 2/person)
Third 10,000 tickets: $250 (mail order only - cashiers check or money order)
Unlimited tickets: $280 (online, mail order, walk-in, available through 08/24/07)

There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!



What Went Down:
Whether you made it or missed it, the "What Went Down" report follows up on each event
covered by The Radius.


December Madness: A Mini-(Karmic)-Gathering - December 16, Wasilla, AK

Big Cheddar made a big splash at The Karmic Gathering: OctoberList, bringing his Alaskan Karma to add to the mix. December Madness was his first officially promoted Morton's List event, and a test-run for more he is planning. Keep an eye on this ninja! Here's an insider's view of what went down up north in his words:

As some of you already know, December Madness in Wasilla, Alaska went very well. Our main goal of increasing attendance was accomplished with great results. The Global Inner Circle (through me) planted a seed that I believe will grow beyond imagination. I owe a "thank you" to several people, including but not limited to Mutant XIII, RamGoG, OverBill and Cricket, the UPS store, and of course the Twilight Lords. Also thanks to the open-minded people who attended December Madness, especially those who have never played before. Our next event will be in January but the date will not be set until everything is set in stone.

We rolled five Quests over the course of the evening. All these Quests were relatively mild to the disappointment of some, but they realized the possibility of unparallel adventure with
Morton's List. The first two Quests (Lore Galore - "Skills for Trade", and "I'm Neutral" - "World Records") were received well, although many were unsure of what to expect. These people had a good time explaining the finer points of their skills. A few wanted to do some extreme demonstrations (something about "borrowing" a car) but I was quick to try and downplay such shenanigans (although I really love those things).

When we got to "Childhood Games" there were six of us and a game of Go Fish was started. Now I don't know when the last time you have seen six grown men playing Go Fish, let alone arguing over rules and getting highly competitive but it was a fucking riot. We thought that Slap Jack might get out of hand.

After this Quest we rolled Mountain, "Water and Ice" with four members of the Inner Circle. We were not too excited as it was freaking cold but we decided on crossing Wasilla Lake. We were very hesitant because we just had a warm spell but once we saw truck tracks we figured we would be OK.

A good recommendation for crossing a frozen lake is to wear warm clothes! I could not feel my face, legs and hands by the time we got back to the car. An impromptu race was devised and my mountain climbing little brother just wasted us - even his closest competitor gave up within minutes. I have left out some details for good reason and can't wait until the next mini in January!



8th Annual Florida Mini-Gathering / Morton's List Event - December 16, Miami, FL

Some people have vivid imaginations. Others make things happen. Long time Inner Circle member RamGoG is one of those rare individuals who is both. This ninja is CREATIVE at explosive levels - something that's immediately noticeable, from his phat DCG charm to his splatter-painted eye-and-tentacle shirt. It comes as no surprise to us at Center that this ninja and his highly Karmic southern Florida crew is behind one of the freshest and longest running events in the international mini-Gathering phenomenon. Let's let RamGoG tell his latest story in his own words:

So it was the 8th Annual South Florida Juggalo/Morton's List Mini Gathering at Santa's Enchanted Forest: and it rained. But a little downpour couldn't dampen the freshness unfolding as our Innermost Circle of Florida Juggalos united for another year of friendship and celebration in the park; adding to the Karma of rolling a Quest simultaneously with the rest of the Inner Circle nationwide. 2001 introduced Morton's List to this mini party as an alternative to paying the outrageous entrance fee. But it's now become the stamp of an Official Gathering; Listalos from years ago flew in from as far as California or drove South for hours for the reunion.

Our group grew in numbers from the measly ten, to a troop of 20, and by the time we were ready to roll our head count surpassed SEVENTY! So since it was raining and most were complaining about wet seats and no desire to ride, this Quest was a success in getting every last one of us mobilized... or DIE! With cries of "more are on the way" but no time to delay we rolled what became a very wacky "Skate or Die" with a bit of Pirate "Speech Alteration." This kicked off the night in an amazing way as every one joined in to play and the Listing continued to the parking lot, then to the Taco Bell, and on down the street, everywhere went it seemed another Inner Circle was forming as bonds were born and old alliances strengthened.



The night flowed by as "Buffoon Foolery" and a NEVER ENDING "Drunken Free-For-All" taunted the rising of the sun! Thirteen hours after the Mini-Gathering had begun the final twenty-one of us called an End Time and went our separate ways to make sense of the day. Writing could never connect you to the Karma and insanity of Santa's, so I would like to now extend an invitation to the Global Inner Circle to simply join us in South Florida in December, 2007.


Questing Across America
- December 16, North America

This meta-event was the brainchild of Twilight Circle Affiliate, Mutant XIII to link several simultaneous Morton's List events. This in turn spurred Inner Circle members in Michigan, Wisconsin and many other states and provinces to roll Quests on the same night. There is unfortunately not enough room here to publish them all. Here is Mutant XIII's account of the night in his own words:

Our story for Questing Across America is rather short. RamGoG and Big Cheddar had already made some big plans and asked if I wanted to jump on the bandwagon. I was like, "Hell yeah!" So I post the event over on the Global Inner Circle Meetup [at Meetup.org], and the only Tennessee Listers to show was the Twilight Circle (Batz, Hoy, and myself) and our friend, J (he runs the local ICP Meetup here in Knoxville called 3 Star Ninjas).

The four of us rolled some pretty tame Quests. We started off with Reminisce on "I'm Neutral." J had some pictures at his house from past Gatherings [of the Juggalos] so we looked through them for a bit. Then we spent the next hour telling stories about all the concerts we have been to and swapping crazy Gathering ... experiences.

Our next Quest was Guess & Sketch off of the Cosmic Law Table and we played a ghetto form of Pictionary. We came up with stuff to draw off the top of our heads and if the other players could guess what was drawn then they got a point. Our homie J kicked much ass, which was surprising since none of us have any skills when drawing. What made it so fun was the trash talking that went on. It was a great night considering there was just four of us!



Morton's List on The Razor's Edge

Motown Rage's got the Rock, and Morton's List has the Roll! Together it's flavor in the bank. How can you go wrong with a ninja as cool as Razor Ray? His Internet Radio Show, The Razor's Edge on www.WFuckOffRadio.com is not only highly hard core, but highly entertaining. We couldn't resist working out a way to play some List with Razor on the air!

Using Morton's Lite 13% for listeners who may not be familiar with Morton's List, Razor rolled a Quest for anyone and everyone listening to complete then call back during the next show to share their stories. Razor rolled the Reality on Film Quest followed by the Carry a Shocking Object Mutation live on the air, sending random Karma across the electronic airwaves.

First Show: December 14th

Morton's List mentions at: 1:00, 21:15, 56:00, Quest roll at 59:10

Second Show: January 11th

Morton's List mention at: 38:33, Quest story at 1:21:31.
Random Bonus: Our boy, Rev. Sid, from The Juggalo Care Package Program called in!

During the second show, "Sherry Berry" called in with her Quest story which involved taking some confidential explicit pictures she sent to Razor Ray - something about "lacing it up".... Such are the perks of having your own radio show!




Militant Inner Circle

It's hard to believe we're really at war. I mean think about it. The U.S. is straight up at war, with people actively killing and being killed right now and every day for years. Speaking for many of us here at home, it doesn't really feel like it. There's no draft, no food rations, no massive war effort, factory conversions or massive wartime mobilizations. Maybe we don't feel it because it's so one-sided. One thing's for sure, if you stopped watching and listening to the media you'd never know there was a war going on.

That isn't the case for those with family members in Iraq or Afghanistan, and certainly not true for the people serving in those wounded lands. And that's not even to mention the thousands of military personnel stationed at home and around the world 24/7/365 in times of peacetime or war. It's easy to not think about them and their important jobs.

Now whether or not you support the war, wars in general, the outgoing U.S. administration, or the use of fossil fuels and the U.S.'s geopolitical involvement with them, we can all agree that there are a lot of people in the military serving under a lot of pressure. As you may know, Twilight Lords R. Jesse and Jumpsteady both served in the U.S. Army, and were both stationed or sent overseas. Aside from short periods of Army TV commercial-grade activity, they both recount seemingly endless hours of extreme boredom.

This is one reason we at Center were so quick to take advantage of Rev. Sid's Juggalo Care Package Program (J.C.P.) to donate Morton's List box sets to members of the military. It is estimated that one well-placed Morton's List grenade attack can clear an entire barracks of rampant boredom!


Dramatization

Besides making a simple donation, we wanted to bring Rev. Sid to the forefront, to give the Inner Circle a chance to meet this inspiring ninja, with this interview.

Q:
You've done a lot to get the word out about the Juggalo Care Package Program (J.C.P.), but for those who haven't heard the word, tell the Inner Circle who you are, what the program is and how it came to be.

A: The Juggalo Care Package Program is a non-profit organization that I started back in 2004. Basically we make it our mission to spread luv and support to all the Juggalos and Juggalettes who are serving our country in the military. I got the original idea after reading an article on FaygoLuvers.net about a site that among other things, had an area dedicated to Juggalos in the military. The site, JuggaloFaith.com, really inspired me and I wanted to do more to show my support. With a little help I gathered the mailing addresses of a bunch of military Juggalos, and collected letters from my friends. That's all that was included in the first edition of The J.C.P. but we have since grown rapidly and currently include everything from Faygo soda and candy, to custom J.C.P. CDs and DVDs.

Q: How many shipments have you sent and what kind of response have you gotten?

A: We've sent out five separate editions of The J.C.P., each better than the last, and each with its own unique theme. As for packages we have shipped out nearly 300 individual packages to the Juggalos and Juggalettes in the U.S. Military, four packages to soldiers fighting in the Canadian military, and one to a member of the British forces.

Q: Wow, I didn't realize the scope of J.C.P. went beyond the U.S. military! How can an individual contribute to JCP? Do you accept direct item donations, are there opportunities for volunteers to help you locally or remotely, etc.?

As for donations, we are always glad to accept anything that we can include in our packages to the soldiers, such as CDs, T-Shirts, non-perishable snacks, etc�. (We cannot accept any pornographic materials, or any food products containing beef or pork, as the countries that the majority of our troops are in specifically ban these from entering the country.) If you don't have any materials you want to donate, we also are always welcoming financial donations. We are able to accept checks or money orders, or you may even donate through PayPal. (See our web site for details.)

As far as volunteering with The J.C.P. goes, we really are not able to directly put people to work at The J.C.P. headquarters, but you can help out by spreading the word about our program to everyone you know. We encourage people to mention us on whatever chat rooms and message boards you regularly visit, and on our web site we even have links to posters and fliers that you can print out and distribute at local shows and record stores. However you're able to donate, whether material goods, financial assistance, or time and effort, every little bit counts and we really appreciate your help.

Q: Awesome. I'm sure many will be inspired like you were to help out. What's in store for JCP in 2007?

2007 is going to be big for The J.C.P. We are starting work on our sixth round, which will hopefully ship sometime early this spring. We are also currently in the process of updating a lot of our archives and putting together a brand new Press Kit for everyone who wants to know more about The J.C.P. We are also looking into the possibility of raising funds through some J.C.P. merchandise. This is just a small portion of all of the things going on for us in the upcoming year, so check out our news posts at www.TheJCP.net for all your up-to-date updates all year long!

Q: Where can people go to find out more about JCP?

A: You can check out our web site for any information you are looking for. We have our history, our mission statement, our news updates, and lots of other general information posted, and easy to find on our site. If you don't find what your looking for there, use the contact page on our site, or e-mail me directly at Sid@TheJCP.net and I will be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Before I leave, I'd like to thank the entire staff at Dark Carnival Games for their continuous support and dedication to The Juggalo Care Package Program and our cause. Don't forget to check us out online at www.TheJCP.net and write a letter to the Juggalos and Juggalettes in the military.

Peace Out, Clown Luv, and God Bless,
-Rev. Sid, President and Founder, The J.C.P.


CONTACT
www.TheJCP.net
Sid@TheJCP.net
513-205-8470 (call or text anytime)



Chance is My God
Installment #1: In the Beginning
2007 by Twilight Lord Nathaninja

Think of something totally random that happened to you - something that directly or indirectly changed your life. We all have something we can point to like this.

As for me, I've had many such experiences. One I'll never forget happened when I was five (going on six!). It's a pretty typical boy finds dog story.

I lived in the ghetto of Highland Park, MI and my mom was about to walk me to the neighborhood YMCA for some free kids' activities. I wasn't finished with my dry granola, so she put it in a small brick red Tupperware brand container to take with us.

The Y was only about three blocks away so we were there in a heartbeat. In front was a decent sized patch of grass, and tearing around on it was a dark chestnut medium-haired puppy. It was love at first sight. It ran up to me and began licking me with its purple tongue. That told me right there than this was a special dog.

My family thankfully had a habit of picking up strays and we'd gone through a series of dogs, including an insane one named Shadow whose most memorable act of insanity was to jump out of the car window while doing 55 on the highway in heavy traffic. Lucky for it, that dog was too stupid to die.

When I launched into what every parent must hear "Can I keep this puppy? Can I? Can I?" my mom had no solid platform to resist. We were in between dogs at the time, the puppy looked healthy.... "We'll take her home for now, but we'll wait for your father to come home before deciding if she'll stay."

That's all I needed to hear. And of course, once the dog is home, it's a lot harder to not keep it. So we did. We thought she was a he at first and named her Strider, after the character from Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring, which was currently serving as my bedtime story by (quite a few) installments.

The following 13 years before she died of old age were filled with a lot of ups and downs. A divorce, moving, new schools - typical childhood transitions. Through it all I had Strider by my side. All those who've been lucky enough to have had a true animal companion, a pet you share an emotional, social and nigh-psychic bond with, can relate.

All this sparked by a chance encounter. Well, chance in all appearances. So what is chance, and what is not? Is there something called fate, and if so how do you differentiate it from chance? And where do concepts of God fit into all of this?

These are issues I am looking forward to exploring with you over the course of 2007, or the '007, as I like to call it. (As good as Casino Royale may have been, MI6 sold the hell out by not masterminding a 2007 opening.) This is the first of a serial editorial, titled "Chance is My God." Installments will be published throughout 2007, though not necessarily monthly. Chance is nothing if not unpredictable!

This is simply put a huge topic, and one that I can only hope to scratch the surface of. Therefore I shall not want for material and topics to cover and explore. That said, I do invite your questions, comments and feedback by email, and will endeavor to address these in the serial.

One very important issue that must be addressed first off is that of "God." The serial's title is meant to be thought provoking, and not a statement of atheism. It is my hope that over the course of the year I can tease much deeper and subtler meanings out of that simplistic statement, and that you the reader will embody the Morton's List virtue of open-mindedness as I navigate through some pretty emotionally charged subjects, namely religion and spirituality.

I will leave you with this. Setting aside ideas of fate, God, destiny, even synchronicity, for a now, consider pure, raw, simple(?) chance. Think about chance encounters you've had, "out of the blue" experiences.

Think, too, about the fundamental chance that underlies all existence that we can see and touch. The subatomic level is entirely governed by chance, or so it would appear.