Welcome to The Radius

Ninjas,

Riders,

Members of the Global Inner Circle,

Welcome again to the Radius, the words of Random Reality, and the knowledge from the Center of the Circle. The month of August has been a voyage beyond the known dimensions, experiencing the total spontaneity of completely random Quests. A Karmically Dead man was returned to full power in a real-life Reincrownation, Jumbo Combos were eaten, and the 990th Ninja Clan Showdown in Indianapolis was the largest rallying of Ninja Clans in modern history.

The Inner Circle is powerful.

GenCon brought about the summoning of the powerful Loyal Henchmen of the Twilight Lords to rally additional ninjas and run games. Many, many people joined the Inner Circle over those four days and nights, turning Room 140 into a vortex of positivity, chaos and Karma. There were Quests of every sort, foam sword combat, robotic poetry, and savage, roaming bands of Questing Spartans.

On blacked-out golf carts in full ninja suits, on Little Rascal-style scooters, or looking like you or me, the Twilight Lords rolled through Illinois and Indiana in every sense of the word. Morton's List and the Boulder brought entertainment to every Inner Circle, except when thirteens were rolled. August is a time of powerful Karma, and The Tour De Chance is bigger and more random than any previous Quests of Luck, Fate or Karma. Did we mention Alaskan UFOs?

The Inner Circle is Limitless,

Karmic Order of the Twilight Lords

T.A.C.S.

Sunday, August 26th, 2007

Karma Boost!
To submit your own Karma Boost, simply email Center. Let us know if you have a specific section of The Radius in mind, such as Stories, Karma Boost, Pic of the Month, etc.

Karma vs. Drama: The Two 'dars
2007 by The Karmic Order of Twilight Lords

In a previous issue of The Radius we discussed the meaning of Karma and its polar opposite, drama. As ever with Morton's List, knowledge is well and good, but theory alone without experience is useless - nothing more than dreams never actualized. With that understanding in mind how can we bring more Karma into our lives while avoiding as much drama as possible? In short how do we maximize Karma and minimize drama?

The first step is to actively look for Karma and drama already in our lives (both potential and manifest). Because how can we join with or avoid that which we cannot see? Although the goal of all this is to connect with Karma and sidestep drama in the present, we can all benefit from taking stock of our lives right now. It may be helpful to complete the following simple exercise on paper:

List your closest friends and relatives (stopping after the first 13 or 30 most meaningful if you have many). Next to each name rate their Karma and drama levels -2 to +2.

Karma +2 = Karmagasmic. You feel great just thinking about or being around these people. They are happy, friendly and don't let life get them down. They are up for anything and their attitude is contagious.
Karma +1 = Karma Boost. You definitely look forward to seeing or catching up with these people. They are a positive influence and generally fun to hang out with.
Karma 0 = Karmically Neutral. There's not much notably Karmic about these people, but neither is there anything that stands out as draining your Karma. You don't mind seeing them, but wouldn't go out of your way.
Karma -1 = Karma Drain. Whenever you're around these people you feel slightly stale. Maybe it's just that you don't connect with them, aren't into the same things - who knows? You'd prefer not to hang out with them, but every once in a while isn't too bad.
Karma -2 = Karmic Vampire. However good you feel before spending time with these people, you feel lousy afterwards. It may not even be anything they say or do, just their presence drains you of enthusiasm. You actively try to avoid them.

drama +2 = Drama Daimyo. These people actively seek out and create drama in their lives, whether consciously or subconsciously. Perhaps to get attention, perhaps for the "fun" of it. Either way, they are bad news.
drama +1 = Dramaddict. These people always seem to have drama, major or minor, associated with them. They probably don't realize they are attracting it and otherwise letting it in their lives.
drama 0 = Dramatically Neutral. These people have the average amount of drama in their lives. They don't actively seek it out, but neither do they know how to avoid it.
drama -1 = Drama Saver. These people recognize the dangers of drama and actively avoid it. They do not fully understand the subtler ways drama can infiltrate their lives, however, so must still deal with some.
drama -2 = Beyond Drama. These people have managed to eliminate almost all possible drama from their lives. They only associate with low-drama people, and proactively dodge drama before it even gets close.

Examples:

"Crazy" Doug "Wolfe"
Karma +1 - He is awesome to be around and tells the best stories ever. The only thing keeping him from being a +2 is the wearing effect of being around him too much.
Drama 0 - He doesn't seek out drama, but doesn't avoid it and has had some typical dramatic relationships in the past.

"München" Mara
Karma +2 - She's usually smiling and always cool to be around. She has tactics and is always down for flavor.
Drama -1 - Although not immune to drama, she knows when to stand up to it, and not get caught up in the combat.

"Rat Boy" Brent
Karma -1 - Although he has some tactics, his continual go nowhere lifestyle is depressing to think about.
Drama -1 - He genuinely tries to be friendly and to avoid pissing people off.

After completing this exercise it should be apparent that although it is possible for a person to have high Karma and high drama or low Karma and low drama, more often than not the higher the Karma the lower the drama and vice versa.

Although Karma and drama don't always come from (nor are they necessarily always spread by) people, this is the best place to start looking. Any inter-personal connection can be a vector for Karma or drama. Karma, however, is more likely to come from other sources than drama, including animals, books, music, movies, nature, food, etc.

Once you know what to look for you've already initiated your Karmadar and dramadar. But like gaydar and jewdar you can work at it to increase your 'dar's range and sensitivity. The further away in time and space you can sense Karma and drama the larger your world will become and the more time you'll have to act before it reaches you.

The radar analogy is quite fitting. Imagine your Karmadar is limited - you'll only be able to see opportunities to increase your Karma that are right around you or just about to happen. Conversely, if you have a well developed dramadar, you will see incoming bombs coming from half a world away, giving you plenty of time to be someplace else when they drop.

With a little focus, effort and practice, you can develop an aikido-like ability to duck, weave and dodge drama, while soaking in the Karma. The result of this lifestyle is its own reward. For without the hindrance of drama we are all freed to devote our time and energy towards those Karmic pursuits that are most exciting and meaningful. We are free to Find Morton.

The UFO Files of Cheddar
2007 by Big Cheddar

Part I,

When I was kid my mother told me a story of how she witnessed a UFO at a very young age in Granville, Mass. For many years I was scared, even skeptical, of the idea of extraterrestrials visiting earth until I witnessed things in the sky that are unexplainable. In this article I will be telling you about my own personal experiences and my mother’s sighting of a UFO. I understand your skepticism and your willingness to shrug off this information, but with tens of thousands of witness around the world claming to have seen things unexplainable. Are all of them lying? If anything we should at least take a second look at the sky, keep an open mind and ask questions.

During my research on UFOs I have scoured the internet trying to find the most factual, scientific and believable evidence available to the public. This search has repeatedly led me back to two organizations: The Disclosure Project headed by Dr. Steven M. Greer and CSETI also led by Dr. Greer. I find it interesting that I have been able to find little information outside of these two groups to help prove the existence of UFOs. Also, I have not been able to confirm Dr. Greer’s credentials using internet resources. Do not get me wrong, I do believe in most of their stories but it would be nice to find reputable sources outside of Dr. Greer’s groups. After I did some thinking, I decided not to use the information that I found on the internet but only recount what I have seen with my own eyes and the one incident that my mom witnessed in her own words.

This is my mother’s account in her own words:

“At the age of eight or nine I was living in a small town in Massachusetts. I awoke one night because I had to go to the bathroom. A bright light was shining in my bedroom window, so I looked out. I kept rubbing my eyes as I thought I was sleepwalking but every time I rubbed my eyes and looked out the window I saw the same thing. At tree top level I saw a white glowing circle with smaller glowing circles moving around the outside of it.

At that age you would think the sight of such a thing would scare me but I actually found that looking at it was very calming. I’m not sure how long I stood there, but my bladder wouldn’t let me watch any longer. I went down to the bathroom and when I returned the object was gone. A few days later burn marks were found in a field a couple of miles away that no one could explain.

I never told anyone about what I saw as most would say that I was dreaming and wasn’t quiet awake. I know what I saw that night and I can’t explain it.”

Part 2,

I don’t remember the exact dates of my sightings, but I will describe in detail what I have seen and I swear on MORTON and my own life that what I dictate here is truthful and accurate. Also, when I say UFO I mean Unidentified Flying Object; I don’t know what the hell they were. Several of my closest friends say that before this first event we had seen many other UFOs. I don’t remember those events and we had been under the influence of different substances so I will not repeat these incidents. I will say that with some of these occasions I was under the influence of marijuana. Now, before you try to tell me that this automatically discounts these events, I tell you to shove it. Marijuana will affect a person but it does not make me hallucinate objects in the sky. If it does for you I would love to get a hold of some of your shit.

The first incident I witnessed was actually during a game of Morton’s List and I recounted this story at The Karmic Gathering: OctoberList. I was playing the game with two of my closest friends, Cosmic Chainsaw (from now on referred to as Cosmic) and The Ambassador (from now on referred to as The A). We rolled Nightscape, Stargazing. We decided to climb atop The A’s trailer even though we had been asked not to do so on several occasions by the owners of this lot. It was cold as fuck outside and lying on the roof didn’t make it any better, still we were determined to make it an hour.

After about fifteen to thirty minutes The A pointed to a specific area of the sky and asked if we saw what he was seeing. Both Cosmic and I looked thoroughly through the sky but came up empty. Soon The A was practically hopping while laying down asking us if we were seeing the UFOs. Both of us looked at him like he was crazy because at this time I had never seen one myself. After several minutes of looking I gave up. I figured that I should take another look and once I did I saw little white lights far into the night sky dancing around each other. I blinked thinking this could not be true and looked again. I was amazed and in disbelief, how could this be possible? The A and I watched these little white lights for several minutes and saw what only could be described as lasers and missiles being shot at one another, even a few explosions.

I was excited but not convinced that what I was seeing was not just some trick. Cosmic believed us but was very annoyed that he was not able to see what we were looking at. To say the truth I dismissed the event in my own mind and The A was stunned to silence that I was not sure what I had seen. Actually he was livid that I could dismiss such an event. It took me a few years of replaying what happened in my head for me to believe that what we saw that night was in fact UFOs attacking one another.

This next event scares the living shit out of me to this day. Most of my close friends believe that I was abducted on this night and as much as I want to think differently I have to say that it was possible. I was at my friends Boy J and Girl J’s apartment with my good friend K. M. We were smoking a lot of good weed that night listening to music and waiting for the J’s to get off work.

They showed up with Burger King and K. M.’s girl, Bluto. It smelled so damn good! K. M. and I took one look at that bag of goodness and knew that we MUST have Burger King A.S.A.P. We told them to wait for us to get back from the store to start the traditional “get stoned until we can’t walk” routine we had going on, and we left with the quickness.

We walked out the door, down the stairs, and hooked a right to go to my truck. As we came to about twenty feet of my truck we looked up and saw a white light less than one hundred yards from us above the tree line. It had yellow lights going around the mid section and then a white spot light on the bottom that was spotting the ground below and around it. We froze, and watched it for several seconds. I looked to K. M. and asked several times, “K is that a fucking UFO??????” He said, “I don’t know.” I must have asked him that question ten times, each time getting the same damn answer. I was as scared as I had ever been in my entire life. THERE WAS NO WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS EVENT IN MY HEAD.

Then without a sound, or any other noticeable action, it disappeared. This thing was the size of a small house and the lights went out and it was just gone. You know what we did? We jumped in my truck like nothing happened and went to get some Burger King. We didn’t even think about it. We had just seen one the most astounding events in our lives and it didn’t faze us one bit. We went and got our food (which was delicious, especially those cookies two for $1) and went back to the apartment.

When we got there our friends had already started the tradition and we were slightly hurt. Then they asked us where the hell we had been. “What are you talking about?” I asked, “we went right to B.K. and came right back.” Then they told us we had been gone an hour or more and to prove it they showed us the batch of fresh baked brownies that Bluto had made (which were half eaten). I guarantee that those brownies were not it that apartment before we left because I would have eaten them myself.

At that point I remembered what we had seen and went into a dramatic account of what happened. Strange that K. M. had nothing to say. He was not freaked out and just shrugged it off like it was some swamp gas exploding. Some of my friends joked about it and made me feel like I was an idiot but I know what I saw.

Years later I went back to K. M. and asked about what happened that night. He did remember that something had happened but didn’t know what to think of it and he might say that it was UFO but he doesn’t seem to think it was as a big of event as I do.

Part 3,

This next event took place at Maud Lake outside Palmer, AK. I had organized a party for some of my friends and we went out there early in the evening. Near the end of the night most people had gone home except for my friend, R. S. and the girl he was fucking in the butt out in the woods, when all of a sudden a car showed up. The A, Cosmic and Bluto jumped out and I was surprised because I was not expecting them to come this late. There was an awful smell coming from the lake with all the spawned out salmon that were rotting in the shallows not to mention the moose carcass that was being eaten by flies and maggots twenty feet from us. I wish I had know about it before I picked that spot.

Also, another one of my friends had his truck parked there but they were not there. Weird, I thought. What the hell are they doing out here and where are they? Anyway, I had been drinking but was not drunk and the other three who just showed up were sober. Well… maybe they smoked some pot, but we always do.

All four of us stood at the edge of the lake looking at Pioneer Peak (tallest mountain in the Mat-Su valley) and the moon when The A starting yelling. I was like WTF, man? He told me to look at the sky and asked if I saw the UFO. Cosmic and Bluto immediately saw it and were just as freaked out. I saw nothing; in fact I thought they were trying to fuck with me. None of them could believe that I could not see it and I was mad because I still thought they were screwing around, but then I saw it. It was like my mind had been blocking it from my eyes because it was too unbelievable (which is what I think happens when average people witness UFOs).

There it was: an off yellow glowing ball it the sky that was not moving. I did not mistake this for a plane or helicopter; it was a UFO. Then it started moving unlike anything I had ever seen. It went fast as hell and then stopped on a dime. It moved in zigzag patterns stopping and starting faster than anything I have ever seen. It moved almost faster than I could see and sometimes it would move back into the same spot I first saw it in a second. It moved without sound but lightening quick. It stopped and then shot off into space leaving a light trail just like in those fucking Star Trek series. Then it came from the night sky back into the EXACT same spot it had left like it was showing off just for us. Unfuckingbelievable! Then it shot off again and never reappeared.
This night is one of my favorite topics and it comes up often when talking with the few who were there.

Now to close up some loose ends remember the two fucking in the woods? They saw nothing. Also, the friend’s truck that was parked there but no one knew where they were? Well those two gentlemen were camped across the lake in the woods. As it happens they had an eventful night. Apparently they were both awoken in the middle of the night by some sort of creature moving around in the woods.

Now, these are avid Alaskan outdoorsmen who are hard to scare.
They both had their rifles pointed toward the moving creature and were about to fire. No outdoorsman shoots at an unidentified object, but these two were so freaked out by whatever it was they almost did. I will also mention that these guys are not trigger happy. Most Alaskans are used to being around wild animals, including bears, so it was very unusual that they could not identify this creature and that they were so scared.

When told of our adventure that night both thought we were nuts and from then on The A has always claimed that they had seen an alien. Also, the UFO we saw that night was described exactly by a witness in The Disclosure Project press release which you can find a copy of on my myspace.

Ok, now I have one more short story I’d like to tell you. It’s not nearly as dramatic or exciting as some of the previous ones but it’s the truth just like the others. The A and I were sitting in my driveway in his car smoking bowls and chatting about life. It was late and the night sky was crystal clear. We were looking at the stars and bitching about women when he told me to look at a moving object in the sky.

It looked just like a satellite but it was moving just a bit faster than normal. He was convinced that it was a UFO but I, forever the skeptic, told him it was indeed a satellite. We watched as it slowly moved across the sky in a perfect straight line. Then without a moment of hesitation it shot opposite the direction it was moving, again in a perfect straight line, faster than anything I’ve ever seen except the other UFO at Maud Lake and it disappeared out of sight. What the fuck was that I asked and The A smiled and said, “We just saw another UFO, my friend.”

These are most of the UFO experiences that I have had. Again, I swear that the events described by me are true and not exaggerated. The best information that I find reliable on the internet about UFOs are on YouTube. Look for The Disclosure Project and/or this URL which is a special put out by the SciFi Channel:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBtVOhAl2ks.

I find it very interesting that The Disclosure Project video on YouTube keeps becoming not available for some strange reason. Every month I have to go back to YouTube and put a newly posted video on my myspace. Most all people mentioned in my article would be willing to talk to those interested so that you don’t just have to take my word for it, but I warn you now that I don’t care if you believe me and if you call me a liar you are liable to get knocked out. I’m open to discussing these events but I don’t take shit from anyone. I have many theories as to what I saw and what UFO/aliens are all about and would be willing to share these thoughts in a more privet atmosphere. Keep watching the sky and may Karma be with you!


The Bookbinder
Your One-Stop Guide to All Things Custom in Morton's List
2007 by The Astonishing OddBall, 360° Rainbow Dragon/Yin of the Earth Adept

Will return next month with an extra special edition!

The Astonishing OddBall is a 360° Rainbow Dragon/Yin of the Earth Adept, also specializing in Morton's List. He hails from Oshkosh, WI where he lives with his girlfriend Sugar, a List of Life Adept specializing in Cosmic Law, his dog Boulder, and cat Karma. OddBall has been playing since 2002, and is co-founder of The Ninjas of the Crimson M, as well as The Sons of Pandora.


Pic of the Month

Each month The Radius showcases photos and artwork created for a Quest or connected to Morton's List. One photo each month will be selected from among all the submissions for its exceptional flavor and Karma.

Image submissions are accepted via email and must be at least 400px wide, 72dpi, not larger than 3Mb, in RBG mode, and .jpg, .gif or .bmp format.

TIP: To increase your chances of publication, please make sure to proofread and spell check before submitting. We edit all submissions for length and grammar, and are more likely to publish pieces that require less editing. Most written pieces should be 200-1000 words, with 500 being average. Photos or other images (using the format guidelines for Pic of the Month) that compliment your writing are encouraged and will increase your chances of acceptance. Submission instructions and the deadline for the next issue may be found here.

Back by popular demand, The 8+ Sisterhood regales the Inner Circle with another tawdry tale of Questing at the limits of experience!

Quest - The Fourth
2007 by Annabelle of The 8+ Sisterhood

Wednesday night. Our Quest: Smooth Selling under Mortal Ties, a Table about getting loose and having fun in public. "Smooth Selling coerces the Inner Circle into selling anything to anyone."

We thought about this long and hard. For some reason we were feeling and thinking along "sexual" lines.

One wild suggestion from the Inner Circle was to drive far from where we live, get into a bar, and offer to sell ourselves to one man we happen to like. We would get him off somehow. As a group. A hand or foot job? Wild. $100.

A slightly milder version was to sell ourselves to one man (or more) to view us naked. That's it. $50.

Another was to charge $10 for a kiss. A French kiss. Each of us would have to do it for the Quest to be complete. We could pick different guys if we wanted.

We also discussed the possibility of letting a guy "grab" our butts for $5 each.

We decided on the kiss.

We were all excited about the possibility and had a few drinks before leaving the 8+ Lair just to make sure we remained in the mood.

We headed to a cool club. "Ladies Night."

Once there we had a few more drinks and it didn't take us long to hook up with three cute guys and complete our Quest. We got $40 selling a French kiss each.

The guys were a little too pushy or things might've gotten out of hand. We left the club with yet another successfully completed mission, feeling more free and liberated than ever before!

On the way to the 8+ Lair we talked about how seriously we had taken the Morton's List Oath and how we had given ourselves completely to it, fulfilling every Quest with seriousness and excited anticipation.

It was a new way of life for us all ... and we were loving it!

2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance

The 2007 Tour de Chance is reaching a crescendo! August is the high water mark, with three massively important events: The Gathering of the Juggalos, Gen Con and Burning Man. Karma has never been higher. Thanks to all the hundreds of ninjas who participated in events at the Gathering and Gen Con and who will be joining us on the playa next week for Burning Man. If you have not yet experienced a Tour de Chance date, come to the finale: ¡Devastacion! in December. This epic event will in so many ways sum up the Morton's List experience of 2007, and set the stage for large and more Karmic events in 2008.

Thanks to all those who have submitted or are working on events to become Tour de Chance dates. Together we can bring Morton's List to every gaming con, every community festival, and everywhere there are people waiting for the light and Karma of the Message of Morton.

The invitation to submit events for the Tour de Chance is still open. Here again is how it works.

There are four CLASSES of Morton's List events:

Each event will be one of the four Classes and up to one of the two Types. Here is a list of all possible combinations:

• KARMIC GATHERING TOURNAMENT


• KARMIC GATHERING CHAOTIC


• OFFICIAL TOURNAMNET


• OFFICIAL CHAOTIC


• SANCTIONED TOURNAMENT


• SANCTIONED CHAOTIC


• RANDOM TOURNAMENT


• RANDOM CHAOTIC

In preparation for the overhaul of MortonsList.com, all Tour de Chance events are listed on MySpace/mortons_list.

A quick word about volunteering. Center wants YOU to volunteer! Not because it makes our lives easier, though it helps. But because together we can accomplish so much more. It's amazing what a difference just one volunteer at an event can make. We do what we do for the love of Karma. It's all non-profit. So come work along side us, and help us spread Karma to those who have not been touched by Morton. If you live near Southern Illinois, Mid-Indiana, Northern Nevada, Southern Florida, or Mid-Alaska talk to us. This is your chance to up your game and make the crucial leap from entertained to entertainer. Email Center today.

And now for the updates:

SPOTLIGHT Spotlighted events are happing SOON. That means before the next issue of The Radius, where they will become part of the What Went Down section. So if you're going to attend or volunteer, NOW is the time to make it happen. You must make the choice. At this point, putting it off is the same as choosing no. Burning Man 2007 LATEST WORD: Official Random Reality Camp event and joining up info. on Google Spreadsheets Official Final Playa Location: Fresh Water and 7:30 BurningMan.com listing: Random Reality Camp Random Reality Camp is a real life game where strangers become friends, boredom becomes adventure and chance becomes synchronicity. Experiences may include meeting people, artistic projects, exercise & sports, learning something new, or missions to find something or someone. Limitless possibilities! Hometown: Detroit, MI Contact: nathaninja (at) gmail (dot) com Center is deep in the midst of final preparations for Random Reality camp. RamGog of Miami will be joining the Twilight Lords as a camp coordinator. Several crews of west coast uber ninjas are also lending their supplies and Karma to the effort. Many lone ninjas will be showing up to camp and we will be attracting as many more to the cause as possible on the playa. Our 50' x 50' plot of land still has room for YOU, so if you are ready to experience something that will change your life forever, put it on the card, and come find your home at Burning Man. Email Center to join the Morton's List Random Reality Theme Camp at Burning Man 2007! CONTACTS Official Random Reality Camp event and joining up info. Morton's List Random Reality Theme Camp at Burning Man MySpace page www.BurningMan.com Burning Man Tickets Burning Man Online Community VENUE Black Rock City (on the "playa" in the Black Rock Desert several hours north of Reno, NV) DATES Monday, August 27 - Monday, September 3, 2007, Random Reality Camp will be up and running as of Tuesday night, August 28th TIMES Non-stop COST 10,000 tickets: $250 (mail order only - cashiers check or money order) also available on the Internet Unlimited tickets: $280 (online, mail order, walk-in, available through 08/24/07) There is no additional fee to play in any or all of the Morton's List events!

UPDATES


The Karmic Gathering: ¡Devastacion!

LATEST WORD: Connections with local Miami-based CouchSurfers are being made. Other unnamed groups are being contacted. This Karmic Gathering will be unlike any before. Karma will be multiplied across genres and lifestyles in ways none can yet comprehend. And did we mention the most startling development? Admission is by recommended donation! $30 is recommended per person, and if you can afford to donate more we appreciate it. But if you're broke, we understand. Just bring yourself and donate what you can spare. We will let nothing impede the Karmacane as it bears down on southern Florida, destroying all drama, fear and barriers in its path!

A Karmic Gathering, for those of you yet to attend one, is like the life-size version of the ceremony the Table Master performs before rolling the Boulder. They both summon and focus the Karma of the group. A Karmic Gathering before a Quest focuses on that hour period. Karmic Gathering events focus your Karma for months - until the next one. It is also a big get-together where people play Morton's List, attend seminars, make new friends, and revel in the highly Karmic spirit created only at this special time and place.

The Karmic Gathering: ¡Devastacion! is rapidly expanding into the largest most promoted Morton's List event ever. We are actively cross-contaminating other subcultures, such as Zombies, Burners and CouchSurfers to assemble a Karmic mass unlike anything to date imagined. RamGog is taking it to the streets and cons with rave style club flyers, spreading the Word of Morton like a country preacher who Caught the Karma!

Get your tickets now. What better excuse to escape the winter doldrums than to ride the KarmaCane down to sunny Miami, and party it up with the Inner Circle and the Twilight Lords at Center.

Email RamGog to volunteer at The Karmic Gathering: ¡Devastacion!

CONTACTS
www.KarmicGathering.com

VENUE
Spring Hills Suites Marriott, 6700 NW 7th St, Miami, FL

DATES
Thursday - Saturday, December 13th-15th, 2007

TIMES
Thursday - Zombie Walk and pre-party
Friday & Saturday - noon to midnight plus The Thirteenth Hour afterparties

COST
Zombie Walk and Thursday evening festivities FREE
$30 recommended donation for the entire weekend, including food and events
Hotel and amusement park entertainment extra


More Events

With so many Morton's List Tour de Chance dates make sure not to overlook the many non-Tour events hosted by Inner Circle members all over.

LATEST WORD: AlasKarma is the first of many "destination" Karmic Gatherings. In the future we hope to take Inner Circle members to important spiritual and cultural sites and festivals around the world, such as the Ganesh Chaturthi festival in India, the ruins of Tikal in Guatemala, and the mystery that is Rapa Nui (Easter Island). But do not wait for an exotic destination, because the Karma of Alaska and your host, Big Cheddar, eclipses all others. It is within reach, within sight. Come to Alaska and take your first step into the world of Karma.

This Karmic Gathering will be so legendary we had to give people more than one full year to prepare for it. So while not part of the 2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance, it is a keystone event of 2008. It marks the first truly destination driven Karmic Gathering.

Not only is The Karmic Gathering: AlasKarma hosted by one of the coolest ninjas ever to seek Morton, none other than that disgruntled goat, Big Cheddar, but it will take place outdoors in Alaska, within a week of the summer solstice - the perfect time to enjoy the warm weather (60s-80s). Words can barely begin to describe this unprecedented event, but we'll try.

It will include three days of Morton’s List under the midnight sun, Karmic trips to nearby natural wonders, and be the first outdoor Karmic Gathering. So get ready to camp in one of the world's most breathtaking settings. This is your chance to fulfill a life goal and do it with friends, with the Inner Circle.

Tickets and more information will be available soon! Start your planning today. Flying to Anchorage, Alaska is easier and cheaper than you think. The official travel agent will help you plan and make the journey as cheaply as possible through group bookings and discounts.

Prepare to Pioneer a Once in a Lifetime Experience.

Prepare to Journey to the Frontier of Random Reality.

Prepare to Be There.

Email us to volunteer at The Karmic Gathering: AlasKarma

CONTACTS
www.KarmicGathering.com

VENUE
A private ranch outside of Wasilla, Alaska. You will be shuttled there from the Anchorage airport.

DATES
The weekend of Friday, June 13th, 2008

TIMES
Noon to Midnight each day, plus The Thirteenth Hour after parties

COST
Only $123 for $45 entry ($15/day), nine Karmic meals (Thursday dinner through Sunday dinner) and shuttle transport to and from the Anchorage airport

What Went Down:
Whether you made it or missed it, the "What Went Down" report follows up on each event covered by The Radius.

Morton's List 6th Birthday Party

What follows is an account of the events of the night of Friday, July 13th as witnessed by or reported to The Karmic Order of Twilight Lords:

After 63 months gestation, Morton's List was born on Friday, July 13th, 2001. Now, six years later, the List is walking, talking, and coming into it's own. Still fresh and young, with lots of growing to do, but well on its way to fulfilling its Karmic destiny.

Parties held across the country and on the Internets celebrated the rare occasion that July 13th again falls on a Friday. At Center Detroit Twilight Lord Nathaninja whipped out cake and ice cream for a traditional American style party. There was cause for extra celebration as Empire of Nothing leaders OverBill and Cricket's wedding was in only two days! They still made it down, bringing Christian, a down-ass Inner Circle member from Wales (AKA the Isle of Wales).

Other guests included Empire of Nothing ninja Trevor and Empryme, now the head honcho of Karmalade Dog 13 (coming in February 2008)! Everyone joined HOQ#4 to roll a Quest that night as well. Although the Inner Circle decided to keep the details secret, just know that two great things are going to go great together at The Karmic Gathering: ¡Devastacion! because of it!

Simultaneously, Center NYC, led by Twilight Lord R. Jesse, held a public Quest in the City. Although initial problems with the weather seemed inauspicious, a deeply appropriate Quest resulted. Those who have played long enough know that sometimes you roll what you need, not what you think you need.

The Astonishing OddBall's Mini-Karmic Gathering: Family Reunion was postponed, but will only be bigger and better - watch for updates this fall!

It was a great night for all involved. Good times with friends is at the heart of Morton's List, and this birthday night was just that - a celebration of the Karmic bonds

Shit went down at the Gathering of the Juggalos. If you weren't there it's hard to explain the chaotic atmosphere that ensued after dark when the near deadly heat of the day subsided. The following summary was provided to The Radius by The Karmic Order of Twilight Lords:

Before all else, props must be extended to the dedicated Inner Circle members behind Camp Karma. It was home for the weekend to such prominent Members as Mutant XIII, Batz and Noxious, FengLong and RamGog along with many more. It was a great beginning for what will certainly become an important Gathering tradition.

Special mention must also be made of the many daytime events that occurred, such as the Quest for Shangri-La Tournament and Morton's List for Beginners. And much thanks to RamGog for holding down the SuperiCore Group merchandise booth and the many volunteers who assisted him. Without all of your help, this Gathering would not have been nearly so Karmic.

As for the midnight events, what can be said? Epic. Legendary. Unforgettable. Though perhaps not in the usual way. Thursday continued the tradition of the smaller more intimate Inner Circle, as we rolled a straight Quest, by the book. People always ask me, "What if you roll X at event Y? How would you do that?" It's called creativity, friends. Sometimes you just gotta think outside the circle. This is what our Inner Circle did after rolling Shoot Pool on the Cosmic Law Table. With no pool tables to be had, we decided to play human pool using our 16 Inner Circle members as balls (15 numbered, solids or stripes, and one cue ball). Two ninjas from British Columbia wandered by wondering what was going on, and became our players. We turned a basketball arena into the playing area using hoops and trash bins for pockets and had at it! It was a close game and a lot of fun for all. An after party at Camp Karma sealed the deal.

Friday continued the tradition of Friday Night Chaos, quite unexpectedly. Golf carts were stolen, feet and hands were broken, yet still Karma would not be stopped. A special Table of the Five Elements, comprising all List of Life Quests, was unveiled, as were the heretofore secret Japanese elemental affiliations of the Twilight Lords. Each Inner Circle became an elemental clan (aside from Wind, which kept blowing away) and rolled a separate Quest. They all came together to share their stories at Camp Karma. Although each clan rocked an honorable account of their Quest, some selfless others selfish, Clan Fire stood out as first among equals. Rolling Cleansing Fire and having none other than Jesus himself among them, they had the Karmic edge. Having easily found representations of the Seven Deadly Sins at the Gathering, they built a bon fire and theatrically burned them. Somehow a chair shot was involved. Good times.

Saturday featured the Karma Parade and a Reincrownation. Yes you heard right. For the first time in several years, a Reincrownation was conducted at the Gathering of the Juggalos. Denied his request last year, this deserving Inner Circle member, vouched for by none other than RamGog, had waited two long years for the chance to once again play Morton's List. The stars were ripe in southern Illinois, and the Karmic ley lines were positioned for Twilight Lords Nathaninja and R. Jesse to put this Crowpocalypsed corpse to the test.

Beginning on the beach, his shoes were removed and carried by two shoe bearers. His feet were not to touch the ground until the second of three Stations had been completed in a metaphorical journey through death and back again. He was carried by Inner Circle members along the parade route to the Station One: Jumbo Combo. Unfortunately there is absolutely no way to explain what Jumbo Combo is to those who were not there. To say it is a burrito made by Jesus, to say it meets or exceeds the standards of Jumbo Combo, to say it is spicy as all get out - nothing truly captures the essence of Jumbo Combo. Perhaps only the Jumbo Combo yell, "JUMBO COMBO!!!" can hint at the flavor and Karma of this food of the gods.

The Crowpocalysed one rested in a chair with a volunteer human footstool as the crowd of 30 ninjas, many of them virgins, awaited Jumbo Combo. A most special Jumbo Combo was prepared for the Crowpocalypsed one and as he ate it, the Karmic nutrients and spices immediately began to cleanse him from the inside. It was time for Station Two.

Again hoisted on the backs of the Inner Circle, the Crowpocalypsed one was spirited away into the night, this time to Camp Karma where a bonfire was raised. Here all Inner Circle members stepped forth to sacrifice one object on their person to the flame. Wal-Mart Employee badges, credit cards, the names of karmic Vampires, condoms - all manner of symbolic items where destroyed as the bearers explained their Karmic significance. At the climax, Web Crack Willy's shorts, worn each Gathering since his first in Peoria, IL, having come full circle, were lit ablaze.

Finally, it was time to turn our attention to the Crowpocalypsed one. His sacrifice was foreordained: all of his clothes must be burnt, ritualistically destroying his attachment to the past. Like a snake shedding its skin, he would be renewed. Fully naked, but for his now returned shoes, he completely three circles of the fire and took off running to Station 3: the lake where the Karma Parade had begun. Clearing barb wire fences in a single bound, we could see his Karma returning.

Following, we arrived on the beach in time to see him swimming across the lake, braving fish attacks. Soon he emerged from the water to a shower of sparks from fountains set on the beach. The first Quest of Morton's List is Hit the Beach, symbolic of life leaving the sea, of our deepest roots, the beginning of biological and personal evolution. This night, too, the beach symbolized coming full circle, emerging form the darkness and depths into the light and the embrace of the waiting Inner Circle.

Now fully Reincrownated, the Inner Circle gave the clothes off their backs to welcome their long lost member. The Karma Parade came to a climactic end and dissolved into an after party and further Quests where Attorney/Twilight Lord R. Jesse took a chair shot from Corporal Robinson at Night Court. During the distraction, RamGog, hidden in the Jury Box, briefly became the reigning JCW World Champion, while the The Corp fumed like a beltless fool. That is how the Inner Circle rides.

Gen Con 2007

After six years, Morton's List returned to Gen Con - the first gaming con it ever appeared at. The following account from the Karmic Order of Twilight Lords attests to the immense Karma unleashed and hints at the explosive future to come:

Recently returned to Center Detroit from The Gathering of the Juggalos, we headed down to Indianapolis late Wednesday in a midnight blue diesel Mercedes Benz from the '80s. Rocking a freshly broken right big toe and fractured left thumb, Twilight Lord Nathaninja had a Little Rascal style scooter waiting for him in the hotel lobby. Prepared with ninja suit, open-toe medical shoe, thumb brace, gauze headband and signs reading "Took One for the Clan," "Occupational Hazards," "Drive by Shuriken Attack Victim," "Ninja Mating Rituals - Not for the Weak," etc. he was ready to grip the scooter as "The Injured Ninja" all weekend.

Thursday we received subtle but definite signs from Morton that all was well and Karma was increasing. After our first event, Volunteer on Solar Rise, we turned a corner headed back to our room and ran smack into none other than The Loyal Henchman of the Twilight Lords! Showing up unannounced with a henchwoman of his own, the creative and curvaceous Cass, of Origins renown.

At this point it was on. The three of us proceeded to take over Gen Con, drawing record attendance. Inner Circles of 9, 14, up to 23 and beyond were the norm. Ping pong tables were improvised, free food was scavenged, poetry was composed, including a beautiful sonnet in binary read by a robot. The marathon of Quests did not stop and neither did the Karma!

Then came the Ninja Clan Showdown. Our goal was to break the attendance record of 56 ninjas at Origins. But Karma was too high. Ninjas were too pow'ful. They - just - kept - coming! 60, 70, 80 ninjas before we lost count. The room was beyond capacity. Fully nine clans, representing each of the Nine Prime Tables were present and in full effect. But that wasn't all. The Five Elemental Ninjas, three arriving recently from Osaka, Japan, and including two Twilight Lords, officiated the ceremony! It was ninjagasmic.

The Jonin, or leaders, of the nine clans competed but none could withstand Clan Excellent Ghost's roll of a 30. Their chosen Quest: Tactical Pastimes. After a quick conference it was decided that the largest game of hide and go seek ever played at Gen Con would determine the winner. The Jonin would seek while clan members hid. If found, they would have to give up their headband and return to the room. At the end, whichever Jonin had the most headbands would be declared winner and his or her clan the most highly honored.

After the challenge, Excellent Ghost returned in disgrace without a single headband. Other clans did well, with seven, nine or more headbands, but none could touch Clan Invisible Tribe's impressive 17 headbands! They were declared the winners to thunderous applause and all left vowing to redeem their clan at the next showdown.

Sunday morning, typically a slow time at cons, only proved how much an impact Morton's List had that weekend. Groups of one to two dozen ninjas showed up for the last two Quests of the event, ending it all on a note of high Karma indeed. Morton's List will be back next year, bigger, better, stronger, fresher, and actually in the book and on the web site! Make plans now - it's going down at Gen Con 2008.