| MORTONSLIST.COM |
| VOL. 2, NO. 2 |
Messages from the Center of the Inner Circle
| December |
| 2007 |
In
This Issue:
What is the Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is the collective bodies and consciousness of all who have experienced Random Reality as presented in the game Morton's List: The End to Boredom. It serves the cause of the Random Reality Revolution by connecting players and encouraging the uninitiated to let chance into their lives. Currently, there are estimated to be over 50,000 active members of the Inner Circle, worldwide.
Morton's List on the Web MortonsList.com MySpace/mortons_list Wikipedia Everything2 The RPG Site Faygo Luvers Juggalo News MeetUp: Global Inner Circles Email: TheRadius@gmail.com
Submit to The Radius! Do you have a story, announcement, rant, editorial, photo, comment, review, poem, or report to contribute to this newsletter? Email submissions to the Editor. Articles and stories should be 200 to 1000 words - shoot for 500. January 2008 Issue DEADLINE Friday, January 11th Note: Submissions will be accepted based on quality and space/timing considerations. Submissions received by the first of the month will be considered for next month's issue. Submissions may be edited, and become the intellectual property of Center, the Karmic Order of Twilight Lords, and/or any of its partners, associates, assignees, etc., and may be used in any way they see fit, including but not limited to print publication.
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| Welcome to The Radius
Loyal Accomplices,
Today
was the 3 Star Ninjas Meetup at Fort Dickerson. We deep fried a
23 lb. turkey and cooked up all kinds of traditional Thanksgiving
eats to share with our Knoxville, TN Juggalo Family. Most of the
ninjas who attended were regulars, but 24 ninjas came out who I
had never met before. These included a wild-ass ninja named Johnny
that had went to high school with my wife and three ninjas from
South Knoxville named Dennis, Lisa and Sean (I think). November 25th, We
played some Morton's
List
in Market Square. The IC consisted of Merlin, Steven, Twiggy, Batz,
Hoy, Skittles, Phil, KC and myself. We rolled Wand of Illusion and
learned some magic tricks using a deck of cards; Child Within and
went ice-skating in Market Square at the outdoor ice rink they set
up every year; and then we rolled Coffee Cafe and went to the Knoxville
Pearl for some coffee and boba teas. November 28th, Gwar
was playing at Blue Cats tonight and my homie, KC, wanted me to
go with him and Johnny to watch the show. Both of them had been
to lots of Gwar concerts and thought I would dig it. We stopped
and had a couple of beers then rolled down to the old city to see
the spectacle that is Gwar. The opening bands kind of sucked and
I just kicked it outside in Blue Cats' courtyard and watched as
the freaks started to pour in. There were punks, metal heads, hot
college bitches, nerds, a few hot biker chicks from a tattoo shop
in Maryville and even some Juggalos. This Quest was a great experience. All month long I tried to be a little more outgoing and talk to complete strangers. By doing so I met some really cool people. From
Cricket and OverBill (O.B.): It was an easy Quest to complete, but we took it to the next level because every Sunday, more and more ninjas came to Thunderbowl Lanes. The timing for the Quest was perfect, too. The organizer of the Juggalo Bowling League, Wendell, passed out flyers at this year’s Hallowicked and had a massive response from it. Homies all the way from Ypsilanti and Imlay City were driving mad miles just to hang out with other ninjas and bowl. The best friendly encounter that we had was from a group of non-Juggalos who had joined the league. They were incredibly cool and were great bowlers. The way some of the team members threw the ball down the lane was deceptive because it didn’t look like it was going very fast; however, when the ball hit the pins, it would knock down at least six of them. Very fresh ninja tactics, indeed! We’ve made friends with just about every single Juggalo and non-Juggalo on the league and even had a few of them join the Hatchet Rydas Car Club. Even though this was just a part of a Quest, Bill and I have a friendly encounter every weekend with some of the freshest ninjas since the Karmic Gatherings started.
...is on sabbatical until further notice. Something truly wicked this way comes.... The
Astonishing OddBall is a 360° Rainbow Dragon/Yin of the Earth
Adept, also specializing in Morton's List. He hails from Oshkosh,
WI where he lives with his girlfriend Sugar, a List of Life Adept
specializing in Cosmic Law, his dog Boulder, and cat Karma. OddBall
has been playing since 2002, and is cofounder of The Ninjas of the
Crimson M, as well as The Sons of Pandora. Each
month The Radius showcases photos and artwork created for a Quest
or connected to Morton's List. One photo each month will
be selected from among all the submissions for its exceptional flavor
and Karma. ¡Tree! You
may have heard rumors. You may have heard scary stories around camp
fires as a child. But only ¡Devastacion! could summon the
legendary Tree himself! AKA Evil B, Tree is a Master Ninja in the
truest sense. His transcontinental foot-based exploits are the stuff
of legend. If you don't know, don't bother asking someone. They
won't know, either. Just be on the lookout should you ever journey
to the fringe of society and sanity, for there you may meet the
one they call Tree. TIP: To increase your chances of publication, please make sure to proofread and spell check before submitting. We edit all submissions for length and grammar, and are more likely to publish pieces that require less editing. Most written pieces should be 200-1000 words, with 500 being average. Photos or other images (using the format guidelines for Pic of the Month) that compliment your writing are encouraged and will increase your chances of acceptance. Submission instructions and the deadline for the next issue may be found here. Although
they didn't reveal themselves for !Devastacion!, all of us in Miami
felt the gaze of the Sisterhood from afar, especially as we shambled
through ritzy Lincoln Mall Rd, hugging well dressed restaurant goers.
Secret societies have been part of Morton's List and Random
Reality history since ancient China - so you never know when an
Inner Circle is watching... waiting... And while we wait, here is
one last 8+ Sisterhood to bring 2007 to a happy ending. Saturday afternoon. The Sisterhood met at the 8+ Lair after a night of hard partying. We questioned whether we should spin the Boulder, and decided to go for it. This was our longest ride through Morton's List so far and a very exciting one. At
first we were sent to Mutations and introduced to Obscure Luggage,
but we ended up having to sacrifice this "Quest within a Quest"
when the Boulder took us through the Vortex of Doom on the Echo
List (confused?) So back to square one on the Echo List where we
were directed to Naked Beauty on the Vision Quest Table (what a
ride!) So we discussed this and decided on photography. Natalia volunteered to have us glorify her nude body with our amateurish photography skills. As mentioned before, trust is a huge issue with the 8+ Sisterhood, and we don't ever plan on sharing the pictures we took (very artistic, I might add!). Having said that, here is one we WILL share:
At the last minute I also decided to do a few drawings in charcoal with my better than mediocre drawing talent. This was the best of them:
This was a fun, artistic Quest, that further tightened our trust for each other.
2007 Morton's List Tour de Chance
What
can we say? In-friggin-credible. Wow. What a year of Morton's
List events. If we weren't too exhausted to lift a finger and
count we'd probably discover that here have been more Morton's
List events in 2007 than every previous year combined. Regardless
it's been record setting and utterly transformative. Much larger
than even the grand plan we envisioned at the end of 2006. Thanks
to every single Center employee and volunteer and Inner Circle member
who made the Tour de Chance possible. We couldn't have done it without
you. Now the Tour is over and no further entries may be accepted.
It's a time to look back on all the great events of the past and
look forward to even more Karmic events to come. Via la Chance! Future Events Although the official Random Reality schedule for 2008 has yet to be released, several events are already locked in, the pinnacle of which is The Karmic Gathering: AlasKarma, which ushers in a whole new era of Karmic Gatherings. But more on that soon.... The Karmic Gathering: AlasKarma
LATEST
WORD:
Prepare to Pioneer a Once in a Lifetime Experience. Email
Center to volunteer at The Karmic Gathering: AlasKarma
The
following is an account written by Cricket, representative attendee
of The Empire of Nothing Inner Circle, and Rick Hannigan of the
Forbidden Realms Organization, concerning the strange and chaotic
happenings of the evening of Wednesday, December 12th, 2007 through
the morning of Sunday the 15th of December. No names have been changed.
There were no innocents. Now
we get to the official happenings of the Karmic Gathering: ¡Devastacion!
Our first event was the Zombie Hugs and Zombie Walk that took place
on the entire stretch of Lincoln Mall Road. From 5 to 6 pm, we stood
or should I say, dragged, our half-dead zombie bodies around, carrying
signs that said "Free Zombie Hugs." A local newspaper
interviewed just about every member of our group, asking questions
from ‘Why do zombies like to eat only brains?’ to ‘Why
can’t zombies eat dead brains?’ which Twilight Lord
R. Jesse answered with much enthusiasm. Some appeared to be completely freaked out by a bunch of Juggalos in dead gray paint, fake blood, and funeral burial clothes. Others were looking at us like “What the fuck are they doing? I thought Halloween was two months ago.” They were completely indifferent to just being able to see a bunch of friends having a great time together. The third reaction we received was people who thought the whole idea was totally cool and were taking pictures of us left and right. One of the best things that we saw was a little kid riding his bike, and as soon as he saw us, he started screaming and riding in circles. His mother tried to get him to stop and he almost ran into a concrete wall! The
zombie entourage reached its oceanside destination and was greeted
by a cool ocean breeze, palm trees, sand, and a beautifully constructed
boardwalk. The Twilight Lords started setting up for the South Florida
Rock Paper Scissors Tournament when RamGog came back from his car,
saying he thought he saw Paris Hilton within the vicinity of our
beach party. The
Limbo Contest was a complete riot because the pavilion deck was
soaking wet with rainwater and everybody kept slipping and falling
on their asses. Ty won the Limbo Contest and got an old school VHS
tape of Big
Trouble in Little China as
a prize. After
the game of Bijenga, everyone pitched in for pizza, which David
went to go pick up and ended up getting about six pizzas for extra
cheap. At one in the morning we all dispersed and went back to our
hotel rooms to get some sleep and prepare for Unlocking the Karma
the next day. As
soon as the Inner Circle members were assembled the room consecrated
as Center, a ceremony of Releasing the Karma began with a chant
of “In the eye of Karma” becoming louder and louder
until the entire room was filled with positive energy. A
Lore Galore Theme Quest hosted by Cricket got underway at 2:00 with
two Inner Circle members participating: Cricket and Rick. They proceeded
outside into the sunlight to roll their Lore Galore Quest, but before
that, they rolled to see if a Mutation or Deviation would take place,
which it didn’t. Everyone
helped to clean up the leftovers before the Karmic Toast with minty
mojitos got underway. We toasted to highly Karmic ninjas who could
not make it to Miami for reasons of their own and also those who
were not with us anymore, but with the energy of Morton. Everyone
downed their mojitos with renewed vigor before choosing our Table
Master for the Miami After Dark Quest. We
rolled Whodunit on the Lore Galore Table and another location: Drug
Shooting that took place in the Dadeland Mall Parking Lot outside
of Macy’s. As a group, we tossed around tidbits of a story
involving zombies, dust mites, shoes, drug cartel shootings, the
Macy’s Day Parade, and the Zombie Apocalypse. At the end of
the story telling, it was the termite/dust mite king, who turned
out to be RamGog that started the whole fiasco with the Zombie Apocalypse. Saturday
was the last official day for the Karmic Gathering, and it was kicked
off with a Karmic Gift Exchange. Ouija donated an original Morton’s
List jersey,
which he bought from Rick and RamGog won it; Ian won a Dr. Dre tumbler
that Twilight Lord R. Jesse donated; Rick won the bag of charcoal
that was used to grill the shark from the Karmic Banquet the night
before (he saw no sense in taking it home, so it left it with RamGog);
someone else put up a veggie burger as a gift; Rick put up a Morton’s
List messenger
bag that he had just purchased this weekend. Climbing the Mountain was the next themed Quest hosted by Twilight Lord R. Jesse, who developed his own Table of physical activities called Climb. Dice rolls determined either how many seconds or repetitions had to be performed for that specific activity in order for the Quest to be completed. Radical Overdrive was the actual Quest rolled, but it was never reached because Jesse kept yelling ‘Climb’, which meant that the Inner Circle had to perform the necessary task. Ty, Rick, Jeffro, Evil-B, RamGog, Mutant, Chris and Ian all had to stand on one hand for 15 seconds, then everyone had to do 15 one arm push-ups, as well as 48 long runs. The Table Master was determined by seeing who could jump the highest and it was Ty, then Jesse had to perform 15 one-arm push-ups by himself. There was also a push-up contest between Purple and Big Dave, and Purple won by 1 or 2 push-ups because a switch recommended by Rick was not heeded at all. Everyone thought the mystery was the Mystery Seminar, but it was actually RamGog’s Random Quest! Judging
for the Inner Circle ’07 secret handshake was voted on in
a local Taco Bell parking lot and the group of Twilight Lord Nathaninja
and Rick won with their semi-choreographed handshake (thanks to
some local bystanders who threw in their two cents). The 991st Ninja
Clan Showdown took place at Santa’s Enchanted Forest with
some Midnight Gaming that started with huge multiple games of Bijenga.
The Leaping Monkey Clan won the first game by kicking the crap out
of everybody with their slick strategy of sticking by each other
during the jump-off. However, Honorable Octopus figured out their
strategy and a rule was declared that same-clan members couldn’t
stand next to each other during the jump-off. A
random dog-pile was started as soon as Zombie Tag was finished.
Jeffro snuck up behind Rick on all fours like a dog, RamGog pushed
Rick over backwards, then everyone started piling on top of him.
All that was supporting Rick was his arm and when the last person
jumped on top of the pile, his arm gave out and got all wrenched
out of shape. So
concludes another Karmic Gathering in the pages of the Global Inner
Circle and Morton’s
List.
What wonders await in Alaska for 2008? You’ll just have to
get there and find out. Snuffing out my smoke, I grabbed my gear and ran to the terminal where my gate was, only to find out that I had missed my flight by about ½ hour. Not only was I pissed that I had missed my flight, but the major bone was that I had to wait another 5 hours for the next flight. The only reason I actually booked my flight on this particular airline was because it was the only one listed at the cheapest rate and it was supposed to be nonstop as well. That, obviously, didn’t happen the way it was scheduled to. Cricket I arrived in Charlotte, NC at about 9:45 am, which was enough time to catch my original connecting flight to Miami if I ran my ass off to the departing gate. However, I was told to check with the flight attendant at the arrival gate from Detroit to see if I was put on a different flight. Low and behold, I’d been moved to the 11:45 am flight to Miami. All I could think was ‘I have to sit on my ass for another two hours?’ Since I had some time to kill, I bought myself an ice cream and made a couple phone calls to tell my fellow Listers that I was going to be late coming in. I was able to board the flight on time and arrived at about 2:30 pm. After I grabbed up my baggage, I made a call to the hotel for a free shuttle pickup from the airport. I was sweating like crazy cuz I had dressed in layers from the cold back home, and I waited for an hour before the shuttle came. I didn’t get to the hotel until 4:00 pm. Mutant
XIII I spent about 30 bucks for the two of us to eat fairly well. A ½ hour later, the airport officials bring out all this free pizza, and it wasn’t any shitty no-name pizza either. It was fricking Pizza Hut pizza! It smelled so damn good that I wanted to go grab some, but I was already too full from earlier. Talk about spending $30 for nothing! After
finally arriving at Fort Lauderdale, FL, we picked up our rental
car and drove about 45 minutes - 1 hour to Miami. We didn’t
end up checking in until about 3, 3:30 am. It was a good thing that
Cricket was out cold from her airport fiasco cuz she didn’t
budge when we came in. |
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© 2007 The SuperiCore Group
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